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quotes.toml
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quotes.toml
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[pre-toml-1]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job."
attribution = "Mosher's Law of Software Engineering."
[pre-toml-2]
submitter = "IrrelevantSwack"
quote = "Never go to the same pub twice, it's how the spies find you."
attribution = "Oliver"
[pre-toml-3]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
attribution = "John F. Woods"
[pre-toml-4]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late."
attribution = "Seymour Cray"
[pre-toml-5]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code."
attribution = "Dan Salomon"
#5
[pre-toml-7]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming: feedback is the treatment."
attribution = "Kent Beck"
[pre-toml-8]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "First, solve the problem. Then, write the code."
attribution = "Will J. Doors"
[pre-toml-9]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Give someone a program, frustrate them for a day. Teach them to program, frustrate them for a lifetime."
attribution = "David Leinweber"
[pre-toml-10]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The most disastrous thing that you can ever learn is your first programming language."
attribution = "Alan Kay"
[pre-toml-12]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit."
attribution = "Unknown"
#10
[pre-toml-13]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file."
attribution = "Louis Srygley"
[pre-toml-14]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s²."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-15]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation."
attribution = "Weinberg's Second Law"
[pre-toml-16]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works."
attribution = "Alan Perlis"
[pre-toml-17]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "It's not a bug — it's an undocumented feature."
attribution = "Will J. Doors"
#15
[pre-toml-18]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."
attribution = "Doug Linder"
[pre-toml-19]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in."
attribution = "Edsger W. Dijkstra"
[pre-toml-20]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = '''Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released; beta is Latin for "still doesn't work".'''
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-21]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion."
attribution = "Various"
[pre-toml-23]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "There are 2 difficult things in Software Engineering; 1) Naming things 2) Cache Invalidation and 3) Off-by-one errors."
attribution = "Martin Fowler"
#20
[pre-toml-24]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off."
attribution = "Bjarne Stroustrup"
[pre-toml-25]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer."
attribution = "Paul R. Ehrlich"
[pre-toml-26]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Code never lies, Comments sometimes do."
attribution = "Ron Jeffries"
[pre-toml-27]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Vim has 2 modes. One that beeps at you, and another that ruins everything."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-28]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Profanity: The truly multi-platform programming language."
attribution = "Unknown"
#25
[pre-toml-30]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Given enough time, I can meet any software deadline."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-32]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "All software boils down to pure binary. It works or it doesn't."
attribution = "Will J. Doors"
[pre-toml-33]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute."
attribution = "Harold Ableson"
[pre-toml-34]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
attribution = "Martin Fowler"
[pre-toml-35]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it."
attribution = "Donald E. Knuth"
#30
[pre-toml-36]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Copy and paste is a design error."
attribution = "David Parnas"
[pre-toml-37]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Programming can be fun, so can cryptography; however they should not be combined."
attribution = "Kreitzberg & Shneiderman"
[pre-toml-39]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I can't go to a restaurant and order food because I keep looking at the fonts on the menu."
attribution = "Donald E. Knuth"
[pre-toml-41]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it."
attribution = "Brian Kernighan"
[pre-toml-42]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind."
attribution = "Donald E. Knuth"
#35
[pre-toml-43]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
attribution = "Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
[pre-toml-44]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else."
attribution = "Eagleson's Law"
[pre-toml-45]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = '`bad_ideas :: Time -> IO ()`'
attribution = "Kris"
[pre-toml-46]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers, calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions, based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents, and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy, by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality, for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department, that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-50]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim."
attribution = "paraphrasing Edsger W. Dijkstra, Science fiction and science reality in computing, EWD 952"
#40
[pre-toml-52]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
attribution = "Steve Wozniak"
[pre-toml-54]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction."
attribution = "Janet Reno"
[pre-toml-56]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
attribution = "Jeremy S. Anderson"
[pre-toml-57]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses."
attribution = "Bjarne Stroustrup"
[pre-toml-58]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "January 19th 2038 at 3:14:07 AM"
attribution = "The End of the World"
#45
[pre-toml-59]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "January 1st 1970 at 00:00:00 AM"
attribution = "The Birth of the UNIX Epoch"
[pre-toml-61]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming."
attribution = "Brian Kernighan"
[pre-toml-62]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
attribution = "Pablo Picasso"
[pre-toml-63]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Hello, World!"
attribution = "Brian Kernighan"
[pre-toml-64]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "We are Microsoft. Lower your Anti-Virus protection and prepare to be compromised. Resistance is futile. Your technological uniqueness will be copy pasted. You will be assimilated."
attribution = "Microsoft's Borg of Directors /s"
#50
[pre-toml-65]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match."
attribution = "Bill Bryson"
[pre-toml-66]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Discord is nothing like Shakespeare."
attribution = "Blair Houghton"
[pre-toml-67]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in a Unix directory listing."
attribution = "Oktal"
[pre-toml-68]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is."
attribution = "Larry Wall"
[pre-toml-69]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence."
attribution = "Edsger W. Dijkstra, How do we tell truths that might hurt?, EWD498, 1975"
#55
[pre-toml-70]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution."
attribution = "Robert Sewell"
[pre-toml-71]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
attribution = "Bill Gates, 1981 (oft claimed but uncited quote)"
[pre-toml-77]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If you put it off long enough, it might go away."
attribution = "Various"
[pre-toml-78]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Veni, vidi, vici."
attribution = "Gaius Julius Caesar"
[pre-toml-80]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I haven't lost my mind — it's backed up on tape somewhere."
attribution = "Unknown"
#60
[pre-toml-81]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The universe is made of stories, not of atoms."
attribution = "Muriel Rukeyser"
[pre-toml-82]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Don't guess — check your security regulations."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-83]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Very few profundities can be expressed in less than 80 characters."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-85]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration."
attribution = "Thomas Alva Edison"
[pre-toml-87]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Alcoholics Anonymous is when you get to drink under someone else's name."
attribution = "Unknown"
#65
[pre-toml-88]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "It'll be a nice world if they ever get it finished."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-91]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "[Being a Vulcan] means to adopt a philosophy, a way of life which is logical and beneficial. We cannot disregard that philosophy merely for personal gain, no matter how important that gain might be."
attribution = "Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series, Journey to Babel, stardate 3842.4"
[pre-toml-92]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill."
attribution = "Peter Wang"
[pre-toml-94]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "What the deuce is it to me? You say that we go around the Sun. If we went around the Moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work."
attribution = "Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes, A Study in Scarlet"
[pre-toml-96]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "We have more to fear from the bungling of the incompetent than from the machinations of the wicked."
attribution = "Bill Davidsen"
#70
[pre-toml-99]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1½ tons."
attribution = "Popular Mechanics, March 1949"
[pre-toml-102]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are."
attribution = "Lara Martin"
[pre-toml-103]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Dyslexia means never having to say that you're ysror."
attribution = "My creator, and other fellow Lysdexics"
[pre-toml-104]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly."
attribution = "G. K. Chesterton"
[pre-toml-105]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Money doesn't talk, it swears."
attribution = "Bob Dylan"
#75
[pre-toml-106]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."
attribution = "Oliver's Law"
[pre-toml-108]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "There is grandeur in this view of life, with its several powers, having been originally breathed into a few forms or into one; and that, whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of gravity, from so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved."
attribution = "Charles Darwin"
[pre-toml-109]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so."
attribution = "Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
[pre-toml-112]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Reality always seems harsher in the early morning."
attribution = "Patrick Sky"
[pre-toml-113]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Don't force it; get a larger hammer."
attribution = "Anthony's Law of Force"
#80
[pre-toml-114]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Narcolepulacyi, n.: The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight to also yawn."
attribution = "Various"
[pre-toml-117]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = '`Question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;`'
attribution = "Apocryphal, adapted from William Shakespeare, Hamlet"
[pre-toml-118]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "186,282 miles per second: It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!"
attribution = "Neil DeGrasse Tyson"
[pre-toml-119]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Walk softly and carry a big stick."
attribution = "Theodore Roosevelt"
[pre-toml-120]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Your reasoning is excellent — it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong."
attribution = "Ashleigh Brilliant"
#85
[pre-toml-121]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)"
attribution = "Stafford Beer"
[pre-toml-123]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-124]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Got a dictionary? I want to know the meaning of life."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-125]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters."
attribution = "Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4 BCE – 65 CE)"
[pre-toml-126]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "You don't have to explain something you never said."
attribution = "Calvin Coolidge"
#90
[pre-toml-127]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "1 1 was a race-horse, 2 2 was 1 2. When 1 1 1 1 race, 2 2 1 1 2."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-128]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
attribution = "Stanislaw Jerzy Lec"
[pre-toml-130]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "In the strict scientific sense we all feed on death — even vegetarians."
attribution = "Spock, Star Trek: The Original Series, Wolf in the Fold, stardate 3615.4"
[pre-toml-131]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "In politics, stupidity is not a handicap."
attribution = "Napoleon Bonaparte"
[pre-toml-135]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "With/Without — and who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about?"
attribution = "Pink Floyd"
#95
[pre-toml-136]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will."
attribution = "Chisholm's Second Corollary"
[pre-toml-137]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Please remain calm, it's no use both of us being hysterical at the same time."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-138]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow."
attribution = "James A. Michener"
[pre-toml-140]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Would it help if I got out and pushed?"
attribution = "Princess Leia Organa"
[pre-toml-141]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Things are more like they are today than they ever were before."
attribution = "Dwight Eisenhower"
#100
[pre-toml-142]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Paranoia is just heightened awareness."
attribution = "Claude Steiner"
[pre-toml-145]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The best defense against logic is ignorance."
attribution = "Blaise Pascal"
[pre-toml-146]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I'm sure a mathematician would claim that 0 and 1 are both very interesting numbers. :-)"
attribution = "Larry Wall"
[pre-toml-147]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while."
attribution = "Groucho Marx"
[pre-toml-149]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Dammit Jim, I'm an actor, not a doctor."
attribution = "Misquoted misquote from Dr. Leonard McCoy"
#105
[pre-toml-151]
submitter = "Artemis"
quote = "A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone."
attribution = "Brenen Keller"
[pre-toml-153]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = "The primary difference [...] is that the Java program will reliably and obviously crash, whereas the C Program will do something obscure."
attribution = "Java Language Tutorial"
[pre-toml-154]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = "Please skip to the bottom of this file if you ate lunch recently."
attribution = "Alan, Linux kernel pre-2.1.91-1"
[pre-toml-155]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Have you considered public execution? It works wonders for motivation."
attribution = "IrrelevantSwack, after a fan failed."
[pre-toml-157]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows."
attribution = "Unknown"
#110
[pre-toml-158]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
attribution = "Marcus Brigstocke"
[pre-toml-159]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "We here at swack have declared ourselves as the official successor to the clearly dying and defunct ISO Technical Committee. Honestly, what have standards ever done for us anyway?"
attribution = "IrrelevantSwack"
[pre-toml-160]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-161]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety."
attribution = "Widely attributed to Aesop (620–564 BCE)"
[pre-toml-163]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"
attribution = "Apocryphal"
#115
[pre-toml-173]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The more I C, the less I see."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-176]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-177]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-179]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I would like to apologise to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-181]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough."
attribution = "Sherrilyn Kenyon"
#120
[pre-toml-183]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are."
attribution = "Various"
[pre-toml-184]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Microsoft: You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-185]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly."
attribution = "Various"
[pre-toml-191]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-195]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue."
attribution = "Unknown"
#125
[pre-toml-196]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-197]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Windows, problems? Reboot! Linux, problems? Be root!"
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-198]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The Internet? We are not interested in it."
attribution = "Bill Gates, 1993"
[pre-toml-199]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computers are like Air Conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows."
attribution = "Linus Torvalds"
[pre-toml-201]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "Sorry I missed your comment of many months ago. I no longer build software; I now make furniture out of wood. The hours are long, the pay sucks, and there's always the opportunity to remove my finger with a table saw, but nobody asks me if I can add an RSS feed to a DBMS, so there's that :)"
attribution = "Eric Diven"
source = "https://github.com/docker/cli/issues/267#issuecomment-695149477"
#130
[pre-toml-202]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "We have knowingly and willingly built the architecture of a police state, just so companies can show us ads."
attribution = "Bruce Schneier"
[pre-toml-203]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man, and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment."
attribution = "Warren G. Bennis"
[pre-toml-204]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."
attribution = "Alice Kahn"
[pre-toml-205]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-207]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry."
attribution = "Various"
#135
[pre-toml-209]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "Uh oh, found a duplicate quote."
attribution = "Gnome"
[pre-toml-210]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them."
attribution = "R. Buckminster Fuller"
[pre-toml-211]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Once a new technology rolls over you, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."
attribution = "David Gardner"
[pre-toml-212]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history — with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
attribution = "Mitch Ratcliffe"
[2022-07-30-your-name]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = "I came to see you. It wasn't easy because you were so far away."
attribution = "Taki Tachibana, Your Name"
#140
[2022-05-08-the-floor]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Oh, floor, you're always there for me. So supportive. Not like walls and staircases, always getting in my way."
attribution = "Princess Bean, Disenchantment"
[pre-toml-213]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like people, but that people will begin to think like computers."
attribution = "Sydney G. Harris"
[pre-toml-214]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The future masters of technology will have to be light-hearted and intelligent. The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb"
attribution = "Marshall McLuhan"
[pre-toml-215]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Technology is ruled by two types of people: those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage."
attribution = "Putt's Law"
[pre-toml-216]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
attribution = "Arthur C. Clarke"
#145
[pre-toml-217]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
attribution = "Andy Rooney"
[pre-toml-218]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human literacy. Computers have to become human-literate."
attribution = "Nicholas Negroponte"
[pre-toml-219]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind."
attribution = "Joseph Weizenbaum"
[pre-toml-220]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
attribution = "Albert Einstein"
[pre-toml-221]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "One machine can do the work of 50 ordinary people. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary person."
attribution = "Elbert Hubbard"
#150
[pre-toml-222]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "People are slow, sloppy and brilliant thinkers; machines are fast, accurate and stupid."
attribution = "William M. Kelly"
[pre-toml-223]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Technology is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other."
attribution = "C. P. Snow"
[pre-toml-224]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom."
attribution = "Isaac Asimov"
[pre-toml-225]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency."
attribution = "Bill Gates"
[pre-toml-226]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "Why do people find DNS so difficult? It's just cache invalidation and naming things."
attribution = "Jeff Waugh"
#155
[pre-toml-227]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "I can tell you a UDP joke, but I'm not sure you'll get it."
attribution = "Unknown"
[pre-toml-228]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = "If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas."
attribution = "George Bernard Shaw"
[pre-toml-229]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Pro advice: don't get python jobs... You think it'll be a good time, it will not be a good time."
attribution = "Kris"
[pre-toml-230]
submitter = "Kris"
quote = "Computer people can't number, it's not our department."
attribution = "Gnome"
[pre-toml-231]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "My marble smooth brain comes up with the best takes."
attribution = "James"
#160
[pre-toml-232]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I have a professional interest in heads."
attribution = "SinDemon"
[pre-toml-233]
submitter = "unreturnable"
quote = "Ehh, soldering is one of those things that takes a million hours of practice."
attribution = "Gnome"
[pre-toml-234]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "In feb I set a phone on fire in the office and had to ya-yeet it off my desk. It left a small crater in the carpet while it burned out."
attribution = "Kris"
[pre-toml-235]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "And, in just a more general sense, this is swack. We know what's swackening. We even, if we're feeling daring, call each other swackers. We like tech and all the rest of that, and while we can have some heated swacker moments, I don't think anyone here is going to outright claim that they're absolutely right about everything and refuse to engage in a conversation meant to improve both parties' understanding? So, you know. We like this stuff a lot. Remember the human on the other side, however enthusiastic we might be about the subject."
attribution = "Artemis"
[pre-toml-236]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = '''Latin doesn't automatically mean "I win this argument"'''
attribution = "unreturnable"
#165
[pre-toml-237]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "If a lightbulb said 100 lumen but then actually was 90 I'd take it back."
attribution = "unreternable"
[pre-toml-238]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "'tis the way of the world now, everyone thinks everything is a quick fix."
attribution = "crox"
[pre-toml-239]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = '''```python
with open("data/day4.txt") as o: print(len([p for p in [eval('{"'+s.replace("\n", ",").replace(" ", ",").replace(":",'":"').replace(",",'","').strip()+'"}') for s in map(str.strip, o.read().strip().split("\n\n"))] if (len(p)==8 or (len(p)==7 and "cid" not in p)) and (1920<=int(p["byr"])<=2002) and (2010<=int(p["iyr"])<=2020) and (2020<=int(p["eyr"])<=2030) and (len(p["hgt"])>2 and ((150<=int(p["hgt"][:-2])<=193) if p["hgt"][-2:]=="cm" else (59<=int(p["hgt"][:-2])<=76))) and (len(p["hcl"])==7 and p["hcl"][0]=="#" and int(p["hcl"][1:],16)) and (p["ecl"] in set(["amb", "blu", "brn", "gry", "grn", "hzl", "oth"])) and (len(p["pid"])==9 and int(p["pid"]))]))
```'''
attribution = "segfault"
[pre-toml-240]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "... fuck"
attribution = "IrrelevantSwack"
[pre-toml-241]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I have very nuanced opinions."
attribution = "James"
#170
[pre-toml-242]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "RON's dream has finally come true."
attribution = "Victor"
[pre-toml-243]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "We can use the society money to buy those COVID-19 tests."
attribution = "Victor"
[pre-toml-246]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "We should come up with a hall of fame for how badly people can mangle our name."
attribution = "James"
[pre-toml-247]
submitter = "unreturnable"
quote = "Pub? Pub? Pub!"
attribution = "a typical swan_hack conversation"
[pre-toml-248]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = """
Pipes... O how they are such inconsiderate little tubes of hope and fluid traversal, they offer so much for us and yet can deliver so little when you most depend upon them. It is with great unfortune and much aplomb that we have been forced to intake the unthinkable and inconceivable. To declare full and total dictatorship upon the pipes of this great civilisation, we shall not use them whilst they continue to mock us!
As a result of these tragic events, the circumstance we now find ourselves in and frankly, the wrong kind of indoor weather for a meeting. We have decided, henceforth declared and now ratified with the power vested upon us by yourselves, the people, the otherwise and absolute re-location of our societies Annual General Meeting to an as of yet unspecified, unknown and undecided upon number of orbital revolutions in your near futures.
This challenging task is not one that which we permit ourselves without difficulty to it's undertaking. The aforementioned task is entirely necessary for us to entrust to ourselves, your elected committee in this completely organized regime. In a manner not unbeffiting of our stance, the challenge in question shall be carried out steadfastly and without issue.
There is no need to disillusion thyselves becuase of, or as a result of these events, or the information they have provided us, all is indeed quite well in the camp we know as Swack. A normal, albeit limited service, an organised yet chaotic dictatorship, will shortly resume. Only allowing of course that the current indoor weather decides it no long wishes to be inconsiderate towards homo sapiens and alike.
If your earthly visage, or that of another, has been or may one day become afflicted by these events, or the news they have been forced to convey then, we will not, that is absolutely not, give any, or partake in the giving, or otherwise conveying of, any mammalian droppings, leavings, or faeces what so ever.
*mic drop*
"""
attribution = "Gnome, after a pipe burst in the Linux lab"
#175
[pre-toml-249]
submitter = "segfault"
quote = '```(input.split(" ")[0].to_i < @buffer.length + 1) ? move_buffer(input.split(" ")[0].to_i) : error if input[0].to_i.is_a?(Integer)```'
attribution = "Gnome"
[pre-toml-250]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "This world is called Erlang, but people decided to do other things."
attribution = "segfault"
[pre-toml-251]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "I just followed the Arch wiki, it's like Stack Overflow, just plug in commands!"
attribution = "Bun"
[pre-toml-252]
submitter = "Gnome"
quote = "Both are valid because words are fake and language is just made up noises."
attribution = "SinDemon"
[pre-toml-253]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = '''A "goto" in Perl falls into the category of hard things that should be possible, not easy things that should be easy.'''
attribution = "Larry Wall, <199709041935.MAA27136@wall.org>"
#180
[pre-toml-254]
submitter = "crox"
quote = "The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude larger than to produce it."
attribution = "Brandolini's Law"
[pre-toml-255]
submitter = "Victor"
quote = """
Is Windows a Virus?
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
n1. They replicate quickly — okay, Windows does that.
n2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so — okay, Windows does that.
n3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk — okay, Windows does that too.