diff --git a/src/udx.c b/src/udx.c
index 1957557..b0c9614 100644
--- a/src/udx.c
+++ b/src/udx.c
@@ -215,7 +215,6 @@ socket_write_wanted (udx_socket_t *socket) {
 
   udx_stream_t *stream;
   udx__link_foreach(socket->streams, stream) {
-    assert(stream->socket == socket);
     if (stream_write_wanted(stream)) {
       return true;
     }
@@ -1883,8 +1882,20 @@ send_packets (udx_socket_t *socket) {
 
   udx_stream_t *stream;
   udx__link_foreach(socket->streams, stream) {
+    // in case of re-entry, the stream might be closed, ie both us and next one in line was destroyed
+    // if so no just ignore
+    if (stream->status & UDX_STREAM_CLOSED) continue;
+
     assert(stream->socket == socket);
+
     if (!send_stream_packets(socket, stream)) return;
+
+    // the above could have triggered a re-entry moving this stream to another socket (change_remote)
+    // if so just restart, unlikely
+    if (stream->socket != socket) {
+      stream = socket->streams;
+      if (!stream || !send_stream_packets(socket, stream)) return;
+    }
   }
 }
 
@@ -2464,6 +2475,8 @@ set_stream_socket (udx_stream_t *stream, udx_socket_t *socket) {
 
   udx_socket_t *prev = stream->socket;
 
+  // technically its unsafe to remove and add it to another queue
+  // if iterating the queue we removed from.
   if (prev == NULL) {
     udx_t *udx = stream->udx;
     udx__link_remove(udx->streams, stream);
@@ -2477,11 +2490,14 @@ set_stream_socket (udx_stream_t *stream, udx_socket_t *socket) {
 
 int
 udx_stream_change_remote (udx_stream_t *stream, udx_socket_t *socket, uint32_t remote_id, const struct sockaddr *remote_addr, udx_stream_remote_changed_cb on_remote_changed) {
-  assert(stream->status & UDX_STREAM_CONNECTED);
-
   // the since the udx_t object stores streams_by_id, we cannot migrate streams across udx objects
   // the local id's of different udx streams may collide.
   assert(socket->udx == stream->socket->udx);
+
+  if (stream->status & UDX_STREAM_DEAD || stream->udx->teardown) {
+    return UV_EINVAL;
+  }
+
   if (!(stream->status & UDX_STREAM_CONNECTED)) {
     return UV_EINVAL;
   }
@@ -2531,6 +2547,10 @@ udx_stream_change_remote (udx_stream_t *stream, udx_socket_t *socket, uint32_t r
 
 int
 udx_stream_connect (udx_stream_t *stream, udx_socket_t *socket, uint32_t remote_id, const struct sockaddr *remote_addr) {
+  if (stream->status & UDX_STREAM_DEAD || stream->udx->teardown) {
+    return UV_EINVAL;
+  }
+
   if (stream->status & UDX_STREAM_CONNECTED) {
     return UV_EISCONN;
   }