name: Les_mots_de_la_delivrance isbn13: 9780557525737 isbn: 0557525737 title: Les mots de la délivrance author: Marc-André Decoste publisher: Créations MAD year: 2012 acquired: 2012 start: 2014-10-21 stop: 2014-11-05
First novel by a friend of mine from college. We both studied computer science and then had long careers in software. Now, he's written and self-published his first novel using lulu.com.
The novel suffers from all the ailments you'd expect from a first-time writer. I had several issues with both style and substance.
The basic plot is a teenage high school drama with a shy but smart protagonist, a sparky and empathic love interest, a courtyard bully, and inept adults. The core story deals with the reclusive Daniel coming out of his shell and taking an active part in his life instead of just observing it. He gravitates towards highbrow subjects in an effort to make himself interesting, but only comes off as shallow. This extends to his relations with other characters where he shows a total inability to stay in a conversation that does not go precisely as he wants. He consistently overreacts to the slightest contradiction.
The plot attempts to introduce a murder investigation, but the characters only have a vague rumor to go on. This subplot is totally preposterous. The reader and characters have nowhere near enough information to build a credible theory of the crime. The result is that the characters look either paranoid or stupid (or both) to the reader, making it difficult to identify with them.
Another subplot deals with suicide. This is not the desperate form of suicide as the only way to escape from an intolerable reality. It is the depressed form of suicide where death might offer a respite from the weight of everyday life. The angle could have been interesting, but it is merely exposed and never pursued any further. There are numerous other philosophical questions that are just dropped in and then go no further. The effect is only pedantic.
The novel spends its first 90% setting up characters and a mood only to throw it all away in the last 10%. It goes in a totally different direction that bears little to no resemblance to the novel that preceded it. I felt cheated. I had worked real hard to like the novel up to that point, in spite of all its flaws. I had to throw all that away and try again from scratch.
Lastly, I have two issues with his writing style. The overall writing suffers from wordiness. Right from the first paragraph:
La cloche retentit. Un murmure se fait graduellement entendre, tel un troupeau lointain qui s'approche à grands pas. Le sol vibre comme pour avertir une proie de l'approche imminente de prédateurs en furie. Les hauts murs, partiellement habillés de casiers en métal, réfléchissent le bourdonnement pour en amplifier la cacophonie. Le brouhaha envahit soudainement la grande salle. Les corridors, tels des volcans en éruption, crachent des étudiants par dizaines.
Which roughly translates to:
The bell rings. A murmur is heard gradually, as a distant herd is approaching briskly. The floor vibrates as if to warn a prey of the impending approach of raging predators. The high walls, partially dressed in metal lockers, reflect the buzz to amplify the cacophony. The hubbub suddenly invades the main hall. The corridors, like volcanoes that are erupting, spew students by the tens.
Each sentence evokes multiple clashing images and only confuse the reader. One sentence has a herd as the source of the noise, and the next sentence has predators as the source. Predators don't move in herds, so the mind of the reader would not normally make the connection. Next, we have three different words very close to each others to describe the sound of the approaching crowd. The mind just spins. From herds to preys to predators to metal-dressed to noise to volcanoes. And all for just a few tens of students. At the end of it all, I'm left underwhelmed.
My second issue with the style is when the characters are speaking. The action takes place in a Montreal suburb, so the characters inject some local flavor in their speech patterns. But it is very inconsistent. Sometimes, they'll drop in and out of the vernacular within a single paragraph. People don't talk like that. In a given conversation, it's all in or all out. I really enjoyed the attempt at local flavor, which made it even more annoying when it was erratic.
I'm gonna stop here, now. The author is a good friend, and I don't want to overdo the harping. I'm glad he actually got a novel out, and I'm excited to see how he will evolve as a writer.