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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky
Do you think that smoking drugs is cool?
Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?
Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.
I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitous.
There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour.
I am Beyoncé, always.
I love Burlington Coat Factory.
PowerPoint. PowerPoint.
I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other, it's every parent's dream.
I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
Dwight, you ignorant sl*t.
That's what she said.
NO! GOD! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
STANLEY STANLEY YOU WILL NOT DIE STANLEY STANLEY BARACK IS PRESIDENT
I am downloading some n3p music.
WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!
The worst thing about prison was the dementors.
Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Just tell him to call me as asap as possible.
It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.
Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
You know what's gonna be on your tombstone? "Loser."
I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
I like waking up to the smell of bacon.
I don't want to do anything. I'm dying.
I. Understand. Nothing.
I feel very blessed.
I am dead inside.
I'm running away from my responsibilities.
You are a thief of joy.
PARKOUR.
Okay, I am going to throw up.
I am a victim of a hate crime.
I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.
I don't need fresh air. Because I have the freshest air around. A/C.
I'm optimistic, because every day I get a little more desperate.
Oh my God! Okay, it's happening!
Maybe there's some sort of animal we can make a sacrifice to.
I've made some empty promises in my life.
I hate looking at your face. I wanna smash it.
Only thing that could make this day better is ice cream.