diff --git a/essays/index.html b/essays/index.html index 8b954c00..fd3d6b9e 100644 --- a/essays/index.html +++ b/essays/index.html @@ -106,4 +106,4 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Essays

Collection of all essays; recent essays

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26

Recent essays


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Essays

Collection of all essays; recent essays

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Recent essays


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Welcome to my website. Why don't you stay a while?

Website homepage; a short description; recent posts

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26

Description


This is my personal website. I created it primarily for experiential use as a centralized knowledge/content base and as an outlet for my increasingly erratic thoughts and curiosities. I hope that it will be a comprehensible introduction into some of the machinations of my mind, and I hope that you will enjoy your stay here! For information about me, see the About me page; for information about the purpose and design of this site, see the About this site page; to contact me, email me at janicel375@gmail.com.

Recently Updated Posts


Content consumption queue

2021-10-04 ○ last updated: 2023-05-25 ○ topics: notes

A note to keep track of what I should read/watch/listen to next

Dream journal

2021-10-03 ○ last updated: 2023-05-25 ○ topics: notes, dreams, personal, liminality, subconscious

A log of my more memorable dreams in reverse-chronological order

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; The Sirens of Titan (1959)

2023-02-04 ○ last updated: 2023-02-04 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, science fiction, purpose

Notes on The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Cat's Cradle (1963)

2023-01-31 ○ last updated: 2023-01-31 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, science fiction, irony, science, religion

Notes on Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Breakfast of Champions (1973)

2023-01-28 ○ last updated: 2023-01-28 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, metafiction, kilgore trout, science fiction, free will, schizophrenia, solipsism, irony

Notes on Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Suzuki, Shunryū; Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (1970)

2023-01-26 ○ last updated: 2023-01-26 ○ topics: notes, lectures, zen, buddhism, mindfulness

Notes on Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryū Suzuki

December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-31

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-29

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-23

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-11-23; eleven lines

Kafka, Franz; Investigations of a Dog (1922)

2022-08-22 ○ last updated: 2022-08-22 ○ topics: notes, investigations of a dog, kafka, franz, philosophy, absurdism

Notes on Investigations of a Dog by Franz Kafka

A collection of bathroom epigraphs

2022-07-25 ○ last updated: 2022-08-22 ○ topics: notes

The words of prophets are written on bathroom walls

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)

2022-08-04 ○ last updated: 2022-08-04 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, slaughterhouse-five, war, world war ii, time, science fiction, irony

Notes on Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

Journal entry for 2022-05-05; a tense grip; a divine scene; semantics of color

April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

Journal entry for 2022-04-17; two encounters; impermanence and beauty

April 14th, 2022

2022-04-14 ○ last updated: 2022-05-06 ○ topics: journal, youth, habituation, attention, cognitive dissonance, alice in wonderland

Journal entry for 2022-04-14; youth and longing; habituation; tasting life; attention; a dissonant existence

Carroll, Lewis; Alice in Wonderland (1865)

2022-04-18 ○ last updated: 2022-05-02 ○ topics: notes, lewis carroll, alice in wonderland, fantasy

Notes on Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

A collection of kōans

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-04-17 ○ topics: notes, zen, buddhism

Kōans that I find thought-provoking

Kafka, Franz; The Trial (1915)

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2022-04-17 ○ topics: notes, the trial, kafka, franz, philosophy, absurdism

Notes on The Trial by Franz Kafka, translated by Breon Mitchell

Sapolosky, Robert; Human Behavioral Biology

2022-04-16 ○ last updated: 2022-04-16 ○ topics: notes, lectures, biology, evolution

Notes on Robert Sapolosky's lecture series on human behavioral biology

April 13th, 2022

2022-04-13 ○ last updated: 2022-04-13 ○ topics: journal, dreams

Journal entry for 2022-04-13; a dream; guilt about eating meat

April 10th, 2022

2022-04-10 ○ last updated: 2022-04-10 ○ topics: journal, cognition, loneliness, uncertainty

Journal entry for 2022-04-10; a bird's love life; cognition; a slight descent into madness

Nhat Hahn, Thich; The Miracle of Mindfulness

2022-04-07 ○ last updated: 2022-04-07 ○ topics: notes, buddhism, thich nhat hahn, mindfulness, religion

Notes on The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hahn

March 5th, 2022

2022-03-05 ○ last updated: 2022-03-05 ○ topics: journal, the Crisis, cognition, for the good times

Journal entry for 2022-03-05; thoughts on the Crisis; thinking about thoughts; For the Good Times

About this site.

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: meta

Information about this site; the structure, purpose, philosophy, and inspiration; implementation details; to-dos

October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Journal entry for 2021-10-14; A Wind in the Door; relativity; interconnectivity

About me.

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: autobiographical

Information about me; what I'm up to now; current interests and favorites; major influences; how to contact me

October 12th, 2021

2021-10-12 ○ last updated: 2021-10-12 ○ topics: journal, tennis, zooming out, the Crisis, oneness

Journal entry for 2021-10-12; BNP Paribas Open; zooming out; oneness of humanity

October 1st, 2021

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, the trial, kafka, franz, ms. lauryn hill

Journal entry for 2021-10-01; more thoughts on The Trial; connections to Mystery of Iniquity by Ms. Lauryn Hill

September 30th, 2021

2021-09-30 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, life update, the trial, kafka, franz, the Crisis, mother, father, songs from the arc of life, capgras

Journal entry for 2021-09-30; life update; finished The Trial; other random thoughts





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Welcome to my website. Why don't you stay a while?

Website homepage; a short description; recent posts

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Description


This is my personal website. I created it primarily for experiential use as a centralized knowledge/content base and as an outlet for my increasingly erratic thoughts and curiosities. I hope that it will be a comprehensible introduction into some of the machinations of my mind, and I hope that you will enjoy your stay here! For information about me, see the About me page; for information about the purpose and design of this site, see the About this site page; to contact me, email me at janicel375@gmail.com.

Recently Updated Posts


October 10th, 2023

2023-10-10 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-10-10

Content consumption queue

2021-10-04 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: notes

A note to keep track of what I should read/watch/listen to next

Dream journal

2021-10-03 ○ last updated: 2023-05-25 ○ topics: notes, dreams, personal, liminality, subconscious

A log of my more memorable dreams in reverse-chronological order

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; The Sirens of Titan (1959)

2023-02-04 ○ last updated: 2023-02-04 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, science fiction, purpose

Notes on The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Cat's Cradle (1963)

2023-01-31 ○ last updated: 2023-01-31 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, science fiction, irony, science, religion

Notes on Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Breakfast of Champions (1973)

2023-01-28 ○ last updated: 2023-01-28 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, metafiction, kilgore trout, science fiction, free will, schizophrenia, solipsism, irony

Notes on Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Suzuki, Shunryū; Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (1970)

2023-01-26 ○ last updated: 2023-01-26 ○ topics: notes, lectures, zen, buddhism, mindfulness

Notes on Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryū Suzuki

December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-31

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-29

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-23

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-11-23; eleven lines

Kafka, Franz; Investigations of a Dog (1922)

2022-08-22 ○ last updated: 2022-08-22 ○ topics: notes, investigations of a dog, kafka, franz, philosophy, absurdism

Notes on Investigations of a Dog by Franz Kafka

A collection of bathroom epigraphs

2022-07-25 ○ last updated: 2022-08-22 ○ topics: notes

The words of prophets are written on bathroom walls

Vonnegut Jr., Kurt; Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)

2022-08-04 ○ last updated: 2022-08-04 ○ topics: notes, kurt vonnegut, slaughterhouse-five, war, world war ii, time, science fiction, irony

Notes on Slaughterhouse-Five, or The Children's Crusade by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

Journal entry for 2022-05-05; a tense grip; a divine scene; semantics of color

April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

Journal entry for 2022-04-17; two encounters; impermanence and beauty

April 14th, 2022

2022-04-14 ○ last updated: 2022-05-06 ○ topics: journal, youth, habituation, attention, cognitive dissonance, alice in wonderland

Journal entry for 2022-04-14; youth and longing; habituation; tasting life; attention; a dissonant existence

Carroll, Lewis; Alice in Wonderland (1865)

2022-04-18 ○ last updated: 2022-05-02 ○ topics: notes, lewis carroll, alice in wonderland, fantasy

Notes on Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

A collection of kōans

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-04-17 ○ topics: notes, zen, buddhism

Kōans that I find thought-provoking

Kafka, Franz; The Trial (1915)

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2022-04-17 ○ topics: notes, the trial, kafka, franz, philosophy, absurdism

Notes on The Trial by Franz Kafka, translated by Breon Mitchell

Sapolosky, Robert; Human Behavioral Biology

2022-04-16 ○ last updated: 2022-04-16 ○ topics: notes, lectures, biology, evolution

Notes on Robert Sapolosky's lecture series on human behavioral biology

April 13th, 2022

2022-04-13 ○ last updated: 2022-04-13 ○ topics: journal, dreams

Journal entry for 2022-04-13; a dream; guilt about eating meat

April 10th, 2022

2022-04-10 ○ last updated: 2022-04-10 ○ topics: journal, cognition, loneliness, uncertainty

Journal entry for 2022-04-10; a bird's love life; cognition; a slight descent into madness

Nhat Hahn, Thich; The Miracle of Mindfulness

2022-04-07 ○ last updated: 2022-04-07 ○ topics: notes, buddhism, thich nhat hahn, mindfulness, religion

Notes on The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hahn

March 5th, 2022

2022-03-05 ○ last updated: 2022-03-05 ○ topics: journal, the Crisis, cognition, for the good times

Journal entry for 2022-03-05; thoughts on the Crisis; thinking about thoughts; For the Good Times

About this site.

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: meta

Information about this site; the structure, purpose, philosophy, and inspiration; implementation details; to-dos

October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Journal entry for 2021-10-14; A Wind in the Door; relativity; interconnectivity

About me.

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: autobiographical

Information about me; what I'm up to now; current interests and favorites; major influences; how to contact me

October 12th, 2021

2021-10-12 ○ last updated: 2021-10-12 ○ topics: journal, tennis, zooming out, the Crisis, oneness

Journal entry for 2021-10-12; BNP Paribas Open; zooming out; oneness of humanity

October 1st, 2021

2021-10-01 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, the trial, kafka, franz, ms. lauryn hill

Journal entry for 2021-10-01; more thoughts on The Trial; connections to Mystery of Iniquity by Ms. Lauryn Hill

September 30th, 2021

2021-09-30 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, life update, the trial, kafka, franz, the Crisis, mother, father, songs from the arc of life, capgras

Journal entry for 2021-09-30; life update; finished The Trial; other random thoughts





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Year:2021, month:09

Collection of journal entries for September 2021

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


September 30th, 2021

2021-09-30 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, life update, the trial, kafka, franz, the Crisis, mother, father, songs from the arc of life, capgras

Found out from the director of the Research Alliance that I got the position!!! NYC bound, baby! +

Year:2021, month:09

Collection of journal entries for September 2021

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


September 30th, 2021

2021-09-30 ○ last updated: 2021-10-01 ○ topics: journal, life update, the trial, kafka, franz, the Crisis, mother, father, songs from the arc of life, capgras

Found out from the director of the Research Alliance that I got the position!!! NYC bound, baby! I’m extremely excited, but also a little nervous — NYC seems like a huge city (LA is no doubt much larger, but it’s shrunk by my access to a car) and I’m not quite sure how to get my stuff across the country. But I’m certain I’ll figure things out! Finished reading The Trial by Franz Kafka today. A plot recap for myself: Arrest in K.’s room → talk with Frau Grubach → talk with Fräulein Bürstner → appearance in court → encounter with washlady → visit to law offices → two guards and the flogger in the maintenance room → visit from K.’s uncle and visit to the lawyer → conversation with the painter → visit to lawyer for his dismissal, Block the merchant → cathederal → the ending Some initial notes and questions before I go back to revisit the quotes I marked: themes of pride, ego, shame, doubt, guilt, anxiety, paranoia, and transaction in opposition to love, faith, and unconditional acceptance…

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Year:2021, month:10

Collection of journal entries for October 2021

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Signed the lease for my NYC apartment today! +

Year:2021, month:10

Collection of journal entries for October 2021

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Signed the lease for my NYC apartment today! Things are moving so fast, but I’m really grateful that everything is working out so well. My flight is next Wednesday, and I can hardly believe it! Finished reading A Wind in the Door recently. I’m trying to revisit books that meant a lot to me as a kid. “No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally - and often far more - worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.” — C.S. Lewis And in revisiting this book, I’ve realized how much it probably influenced me and my general worldview. diff --git a/journal/2021/index.html b/journal/2021/index.html index 2ac78272..48921e2b 100644 --- a/journal/2021/index.html +++ b/journal/2021/index.html @@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Year:2021

Collection of journal entries for 2021; entries by month

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26

Entries by Month


October 2021

3 entries

2021 Entries


October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Signed the lease for my NYC apartment today! +

Year:2021

Collection of journal entries for 2021; entries by month

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Entries by Month


October 2021

3 entries

2021 Entries


October 14th, 2021

2021-10-14 ○ last updated: 2021-10-14 ○ topics: journal, life update, childhood, the Crisis, interconnectivity

Signed the lease for my NYC apartment today! Things are moving so fast, but I’m really grateful that everything is working out so well. My flight is next Wednesday, and I can hardly believe it! Finished reading A Wind in the Door recently. I’m trying to revisit books that meant a lot to me as a kid. “No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally - and often far more - worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.” — C.S. Lewis And in revisiting this book, I’ve realized how much it probably influenced me and my general worldview. diff --git a/journal/2022/03/index.html b/journal/2022/03/index.html index 6bcbf743..2902f6ea 100644 --- a/journal/2022/03/index.html +++ b/journal/2022/03/index.html @@ -106,4 +106,4 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Year:2022, month:03

Collection of journal entries for March 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


March 5th, 2022

2022-03-05 ○ last updated: 2022-03-05 ○ topics: journal, the Crisis, cognition, for the good times

I find my thoughts racing, resulting in my inability to sleep. I’m thinking about my Crisis: At the core of the event was the realization that I had built my life on a bed of sand, and it crumbled when the tides of uncertainty came rushing in. I think that I gave myself electroshock therapy, which sounds insane to write out, but it truly felt as if my nervous system was being reprogrammed: I felt shocks down my legs and arms and the nerve endings at the tips of my thumb and index finger turned black. Sensory stimulus afterwards, especially sounds and music, felt as though I was experiencing them for the first time. As a result, a depressive fog that has loomed over me for years and years was lifted. In the months leading up to the climactic event, I had incessant feelings of “strangeness” — something was amiss. I knew certain concepts and themes were important (e.g. Gödel’s incompleteness theorems) and was attracted to them, but I just couldn’t connect the dots. I’d try to write about…

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Year:2022, month:03

Collection of journal entries for March 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


March 5th, 2022

2022-03-05 ○ last updated: 2022-03-05 ○ topics: journal, the Crisis, cognition, for the good times

I find my thoughts racing, resulting in my inability to sleep. I’m thinking about my Crisis: At the core of the event was the realization that I had built my life on a bed of sand, and it crumbled when the tides of uncertainty came rushing in. I think that I gave myself electroshock therapy, which sounds insane to write out, but it truly felt as if my nervous system was being reprogrammed: I felt shocks down my legs and arms and the nerve endings at the tips of my thumb and index finger turned black. Sensory stimulus afterwards, especially sounds and music, felt as though I was experiencing them for the first time. As a result, a depressive fog that has loomed over me for years and years was lifted. In the months leading up to the climactic event, I had incessant feelings of “strangeness” — something was amiss. I knew certain concepts and themes were important (e.g. Gödel’s incompleteness theorems) and was attracted to them, but I just couldn’t connect the dots. I’d try to write about…

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Year:2022, month:04

Collection of journal entries for April 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

I forgot to recount in my previous entry an encounter that I had on that day while walking back to the Christopher Street station. +

Year:2022, month:04

Collection of journal entries for April 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

I forgot to recount in my previous entry an encounter that I had on that day while walking back to the Christopher Street station. This commute takes me on a lovely walk through Washington Square Park, and consequentially feeds my voyeuristic compulsion for people-watching. That day, however, I wasn’t in my usual mood to peer into the casual intimacies of park-peoples — I was wrapped up in lament, and tred through the park with careful footsteps and likely a somber expression. But even in my mindlessness, I happened to lock eyes with a girl leaning up against the backrest of a park bench. Tight black coils bounced from her head, and a fitted army-green top with short sleeves and loose black jeans dressed her small frame. diff --git a/journal/2022/05/index.html b/journal/2022/05/index.html index bd61e14c..079143e7 100644 --- a/journal/2022/05/index.html +++ b/journal/2022/05/index.html @@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Year:2022, month:05

Collection of journal entries for May 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

This afternoon I embarked on my weekly pilgrimage from my apartment to the Hungarian Pastry Shop. +

Year:2022, month:05

Collection of journal entries for May 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

This afternoon I embarked on my weekly pilgrimage from my apartment to the Hungarian Pastry Shop. I glided along the northern edge of Central Park on my bike, enjoying how the rough contours of cobblestone beneath my wheels jostled the frame — so much so that I had to loosen my usual chokehold grip on the handlebars, lest my brain rattle violently against my skull. I was pleased by this feeling not because it left any soothing impression on my arms or legs (quite to the contrary), but because it imposed upon me a reminder of how I should try to operate in this world. For various reasons, I hold a concerning amount of tension in my body: whenever I write with a pencil or pen, I grip the barrel so firmly that my hand begins to cramp far too quickly and a permanent writer’s bump has grown on the left side of my middle finger; diff --git a/journal/2022/06/index.html b/journal/2022/06/index.html index 1897aa03..3dd5fee6 100644 --- a/journal/2022/06/index.html +++ b/journal/2022/06/index.html @@ -106,4 +106,4 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Year:2022, month:06

Collection of journal entries for June 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


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Year:2022, month:06

Collection of journal entries for June 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


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Year:2022, month:07

Collection of journal entries for July 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


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Year:2022, month:07

Collection of journal entries for July 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


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Year:2022, month:11

Collection of journal entries for November 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Once again—the squirrels are fat; and I am alone. Where have you been? I said to myself— where on Earth did you go? You should not look there, came the reply. I thought that you would’ve known. Did you seek yourself in the roars of silence? in the deaf’ning and blinding snow? Did you search through the veils of joy and pain? or in the face of those you know? Birth and death hath torn me asunder; now you must endure the throe— Only then will you find that which you seek; and the answers of far-ago.

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Year:2022, month:11

Collection of journal entries for November 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Once again—the squirrels are fat; and I am alone. Where have you been? I said to myself— where on Earth did you go? You should not look there, came the reply. I thought that you would’ve known. Did you seek yourself in the roars of silence? in the deaf’ning and blinding snow? Did you search through the veils of joy and pain? or in the face of those you know? Birth and death hath torn me asunder; now you must endure the throe— Only then will you find that which you seek; and the answers of far-ago.

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Year:2022, month:12

Collection of journal entries for December 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26


December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

The difference between the days disappears along with those to share it with…

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

And how tragic that it is the very act of swimming that muddies the waters!

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

How dreadful a life it is where to have is far worse than to have lost!

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Year:2022, month:12

Collection of journal entries for December 2022

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

The difference between the days disappears along with those to share it with…

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

And how tragic that it is the very act of swimming that muddies the waters!

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

How dreadful a life it is where to have is far worse than to have lost!

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Year:2022

Collection of journal entries for 2022; entries by month

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26

Entries by Month


March 2022

1 entry

April 2022

4 entries

May 2022

1 entry

December 2022

3 entries

2022 Entries


December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

The difference between the days disappears along with those to share it with…

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

And how tragic that it is the very act of swimming that muddies the waters!

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

How dreadful a life it is where to have is far worse than to have lost!

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Once again—the squirrels are fat; and I am alone. Where have you been? I said to myself— where on Earth did you go? You should not look there, came the reply. I thought that you would’ve known. Did you seek yourself in the roars of silence? in the deaf’ning and blinding snow? Did you search through the veils of joy and pain? or in the face of those you know? Birth and death hath torn me asunder; now you must endure the throe— Only then will you find that which you seek; and the answers of far-ago.

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

This afternoon I embarked on my weekly pilgrimage from my apartment to the Hungarian Pastry Shop. +

Year:2022

Collection of journal entries for 2022; entries by month

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Entries by Month


March 2022

1 entry

April 2022

4 entries

May 2022

1 entry

December 2022

3 entries

2022 Entries


December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

The difference between the days disappears along with those to share it with…

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

And how tragic that it is the very act of swimming that muddies the waters!

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

How dreadful a life it is where to have is far worse than to have lost!

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Once again—the squirrels are fat; and I am alone. Where have you been? I said to myself— where on Earth did you go? You should not look there, came the reply. I thought that you would’ve known. Did you seek yourself in the roars of silence? in the deaf’ning and blinding snow? Did you search through the veils of joy and pain? or in the face of those you know? Birth and death hath torn me asunder; now you must endure the throe— Only then will you find that which you seek; and the answers of far-ago.

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

This afternoon I embarked on my weekly pilgrimage from my apartment to the Hungarian Pastry Shop. I glided along the northern edge of Central Park on my bike, enjoying how the rough contours of cobblestone beneath my wheels jostled the frame — so much so that I had to loosen my usual chokehold grip on the handlebars, lest my brain rattle violently against my skull. I was pleased by this feeling not because it left any soothing impression on my arms or legs (quite to the contrary), but because it imposed upon me a reminder of how I should try to operate in this world. For various reasons, I hold a concerning amount of tension in my body: whenever I write with a pencil or pen, I grip the barrel so firmly that my hand begins to cramp far too quickly and a permanent writer’s bump has grown on the left side of my middle finger; diff --git a/journal/2023/10/10/index.html b/journal/2023/10/10/index.html new file mode 100644 index 00000000..2dc1462e --- /dev/null +++ b/journal/2023/10/10/index.html @@ -0,0 +1,112 @@ +October 10th, 2023 | a cozy space

October 10th, 2023

Journal entry for 2022-10-10

2023-10-10 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: journal

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Year:2023, month:10

Collection of journal entries for October 2023

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11


October 10th, 2023

2023-10-10 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: journal

I mourn a tender heart—farewell! weariness takes its stead,

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Year:2023

Collection of journal entries for 2023; entries by month

2021-09-18 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Entries by Month



2023 Entries


October 10th, 2023

2023-10-10 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: journal

I mourn a tender heart—farewell! weariness takes its stead,

\ No newline at end of file diff --git a/journal/index.html b/journal/index.html index 6159ac9c..857152ec 100644 --- a/journal/index.html +++ b/journal/index.html @@ -106,4 +106,4 @@ setTheme(preferredTheme || (darkQuery.matches ? 'dark' : 'light')) }() -

Journal

Collection of all journal entries; entries by year; recent entries

2021-09-26 ○ last updated: 2023-05-26

Entries by Year



Recent Entries


December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-31

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-29

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-23

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-11-23; eleven lines

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

Journal entry for 2022-05-05; a tense grip; a divine scene; semantics of color

April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

Journal entry for 2022-04-17; two encounters; impermanence and beauty

April 14th, 2022

2022-04-14 ○ last updated: 2022-05-06 ○ topics: journal, youth, habituation, attention, cognitive dissonance, alice in wonderland

Journal entry for 2022-04-14; youth and longing; habituation; tasting life; attention; a dissonant existence

April 13th, 2022

2022-04-13 ○ last updated: 2022-04-13 ○ topics: journal, dreams

Journal entry for 2022-04-13; a dream; guilt about eating meat

April 10th, 2022

2022-04-10 ○ last updated: 2022-04-10 ○ topics: journal, cognition, loneliness, uncertainty

Journal entry for 2022-04-10; a bird's love life; cognition; a slight descent into madness

March 5th, 2022

2022-03-05 ○ last updated: 2022-03-05 ○ topics: journal, the Crisis, cognition, for the good times

Journal entry for 2022-03-05; thoughts on the Crisis; thinking about thoughts; For the Good Times

\ No newline at end of file +

Journal

Collection of all journal entries; entries by year; recent entries

2021-09-26 ○ last updated: 2023-10-11

Entries by Year



Recent Entries


October 10th, 2023

2023-10-10 ○ last updated: 2023-10-10 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-10-10

December 31st, 2022

2022-12-31 ○ last updated: 2022-12-31 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-31

December 29th, 2022

2022-12-29 ○ last updated: 2022-12-29 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-29

December 23rd, 2022

2022-12-23 ○ last updated: 2022-12-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-12-23

November 23rd, 2022

2022-11-23 ○ last updated: 2022-11-23 ○ topics: journal

Journal entry for 2022-11-23; eleven lines

May 5th, 2022

2022-05-05 ○ last updated: 2022-06-25 ○ topics: journal, tension, flow, beauty, color

Journal entry for 2022-05-05; a tense grip; a divine scene; semantics of color

April 17th, 2022

2022-04-17 ○ last updated: 2022-05-08 ○ topics: journal, impermanence

Journal entry for 2022-04-17; two encounters; impermanence and beauty

April 14th, 2022

2022-04-14 ○ last updated: 2022-05-06 ○ topics: journal, youth, habituation, attention, cognitive dissonance, alice in wonderland

Journal entry for 2022-04-14; youth and longing; habituation; tasting life; attention; a dissonant existence

April 13th, 2022

2022-04-13 ○ last updated: 2022-04-13 ○ topics: journal, dreams

Journal entry for 2022-04-13; a dream; guilt about eating meat

April 10th, 2022

2022-04-10 ○ last updated: 2022-04-10 ○ topics: journal, cognition, loneliness, uncertainty

Journal entry for 2022-04-10; a bird's love life; cognition; a slight descent into madness

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