ESM issue on 12.x requires a quick 12.16.1

[MylesBorins]

Hey All. It turns out the backporting of ESM to 12.x introduced a regression, specifically the "self resolution" feature is working without a flag, which is not intentional.

nodejs/node#31754

I want to get a 12.16.1 out today if possible to fix this one problem. Any conerns?

/cc @nodejs/lts @nodejs/tsc

[richardlau]

There were a couple of other regressions introduced in 12.16.0 too:

• Assertion failed in 12.16.0 node#31752, which @addaleax is looking at but perhaps we could revert nodejs/node@65e5a8a?
• unable to build master, linking fails node#31249 (comment) which is due to src: make --use-largepages a runtime option node#30954 landing in 12.16.0. src: use __executable_start for linux hugepages node#31547 should fix the regression in building but it hasn't been in a current release yet.

[MylesBorins]

PTAL at nodejs/node#31782 which reverts the changes that caused the issues.

[addaleax]

@MylesBorins @richardlau

* [nodejs/node#31752](https://github.com/nodejs/node/issues/31752), which @addaleax is looking at but perhaps we could revert [nodejs/node@65e5a8a](https://github.com/nodejs/node/commit/65e5a8a90cd85fc4d9036bc4b54e0905edd8b51a)?

I would strongly prefer not to. This fixed a real bug. A partial revert for the changes in node_main_instance.cc should be okay, though.