I am going to talk about misconception and regret.
The misconception: In my younger days. I was possessed of the a classic form of gamer snobbery best expressed by a quote from Gamers 3: Hands of Fate:
"Furries are people that LARPers make fun of, and LARPers are people that gamers make fun of."
(Sidebar: The full movie is worth a watch and available via Amazon Prime and on the filmaker's YouTube page. Natalie, played by Trin Miller, has a terriffic arc and some seriously sick burns.)
The idea of dressing up to play pretend seemed pathetic and silly. "Only dorks need to dress up and beat each other with foam" (I said as I spent my 21st birthday in the library studying for a fluid mechanics exam). Maybe this goes back to my former nature as a "true gamer" and not seeing a game that I could win. But I think it is simpler than that; I wasn't ready to be that invested, vulnerable physically and emotionally.
It easy to NOT lose asword duel if I wasn't actually swinging the sword.
I rolled a 1 on the die, it's not my fault the dice are out to kill me.
No one can mock your poor dialogue (or heaven forbid, accent) if you hide everything you say behind a Diplomacy roll.
Sweet, 19 Diplomacy. What did I say? I don't know, who cares, what discount do I get on the gear?
I don't have to treat my character as real or feel anything about their life if they are just a piece of paper, at most a repository for experience points.
Damn it, I failed my death saving throw. Now I have to lose a level from the resurrection spell. How much is the spell again?
As a non-LARPer I could maintain a posture of detatchment from the game but I think that was just a symptom of a broader problem with my teens and early twenties. Afraid to look like a fool, I wouldn't even take the risk of getting on the dance floor, talking to that girl, keeping the ball in my hand to take the shot. I found the justification I needed to avoid the possibility of feeling embarassed or looking a fool. I don't know what changed. Maybe it was that one guy that complimented how I moved at a party, maybe I decided that I didn't want to be alone, maybe the game finally slowed down enough.
I started to take the chances. I met my wife on a dance floor. I don't move away from the ball at the goaline. I let myself become fully immersed in the moments even at the table. Maybe not in every game but I embrace it when it is there.
I don't regret the poor dialogue, trips and spills. But I do regret not joining that Forest of Doors LARP in college. I regret not getting this much out of games.
#rpgaday2020