release-22.2: DEPS: bump across etcd-io/raft#81 and disable conf change validation

[tbg]

Backport 2/2 commits from #106515.

/cc @cockroachdb/release

Release justification: fix for a bug that could cause config changes to get stuck indefinitely, which would also block splits and merges.

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We don't want raft to validate conf changes, since that causes issues due to false positives (the check is above raft, but needs to be below raft to always work correctly). We are
taking responsibility for carrying out only valid conf changes, as we always
have.

See also etcd-io/raft#80.

Fixes #105797.
Epic: CRDB-25287
Release note (bug fix): under rare circumstances, a replication change could get
stuck when proposed near lease/leadership changes (and likely under overload),
and the replica circuit breakers could trip. This problem has been addressed.
Note to editors: this time it's really addressed (fingers crossed); a previous
attempt with an identical release note had to be reverted.

[blathers-crl]

Thanks for opening a backport.

Please check the backport criteria before merging:

• Patches should only be created for serious issues or test-only changes.
• Patches should not break backwards-compatibility.
• Patches should change as little code as possible.
• Patches should not change on-disk formats or node communication protocols.
• Patches should not add new functionality.
• Patches must not add, edit, or otherwise modify cluster versions; or add version gates.

If some of the basic criteria cannot be satisfied, ensure that the exceptional criteria are satisfied within.

• There is a high priority need for the functionality that cannot wait until the next release and is difficult to address in another way.
• The new functionality is additive-only and only runs for clusters which have specifically “opted in” to it (e.g. by a cluster setting).
• New code is protected by a conditional check that is trivial to verify and ensures that it only runs for opt-in clusters.
• The PM and TL on the team that owns the changed code have signed off that the change obeys the above rules.

Add a brief release justification to the body of your PR to justify this backport.

Some other things to consider:

• What did we do to ensure that a user that doesn’t know & care about this backport, has no idea that it happened?
• Will this work in a cluster of mixed patch versions? Did we test that?
• If a user upgrades a patch version, uses this feature, and then downgrades, what happens?

[cockroach-teamcity]

This change is 

[tbg]

Targeting July 25 for the merge.