Notes for Discipline is Destiny

miki/107 Philosophy/107.017 Philosophy - Stoicism - Fear of future and regret for past.md

@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ tags:
 - #philosophy 
 relevant:
 - [[107.012 Philosophy - Stoicism - Today is all I have]]
+- [[116.055 Life Lessons - Quit, don't quit. Noodles, no noodles]]
 
 # Two elements must be rooted out
 

miki/107 Philosophy/127.029 Philosophy - Tolerant with others, strict with yourself.md

@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+source: [[125.015 Books - Discipline is Destiny - Ryan Holiday]]
+tags:
+relevant:
+- [[107.026 Philosophy - Lincoln never held a grudge]]
+- [[127.029 Philosophy - Malice toward none, charity for all]]
+- [[116.049 Life Lessons - You get what you give]]
+- [[119.030 NVC - The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence]]
+- [[116.095 Life Lessons - The ability to observe without evaluating]]
+- [[119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally]]
+- [[119.029 NVC - Avoid criticizing by separating observation and evaluation]]
+- [[119.032 NVC - Do not imply judgement]]
+- [[131.007 Leadership - Blame yourself or blame no one]]
+- [[131.009 Leadership - Lift others up even at cost to yourself]]
+
+# Tolerant with others, strict with yourself
+
+Taken directly from [[125.015 Books - Discipline is Destiny - Ryan Holiday]]:
+
+_“I am prepared to forgive everybody’s mistakes,” Cato the Elder said, “except my own.” Ben Franklin, many generations later, would put forth an even better rule: “Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.” Or as Marcus Aurelius put it, Tolerant with others, strict with yourself._ - Ryan Holiday
+

miki/107 Philosophy/127.030 Philosophy - The less you desire, the richer you are.md

@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+source: [[125.015 Books - Discipline is Destiny - Ryan Holiday]]
+tags:
+relevant:
+- [[116.124 Life Lessons - Temperance]]
+- [[107.014.02 Stoic virtues - 2. Temperance]]
+- [[116.072 Life Lessons - Simple is better - always]]
+
+# The less you desire, the richer you are
+
+_“The less you desire, the richer you are, the freer you are, the more powerful you are.”_ - Ryan Holiday
+
+If you desire little, you need little money to get it. 
+
+If you desire much, you need a lot of money to get it. 
+
+If being rich is defined as the ability to have what you want, then desiring little makes it much easier to be rich than desiring a lot. 

miki/116 Life Lessons/116.055 Life Lessons - Quit, don't quit. Noodles, no noodles.md

@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ tags:
 - #life-lessons 
 relevant:
 - [[116.033 Life Lessons - What I do every day matters more than what I do every once in a while]]
+- [[107.017 Philosophy - Stoicism - Fear of future and regret for past]]
 
 # Kung Fu Panda wisdom
 

miki/116 Life Lessons/116.105 Life Lessons - Learn the lesson, forget the pain.md

@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ relevant:
 - [[133.010 Hiring - Fire fast]]
 - [[119.030 NVC - The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence]]
 - [[116.104 Life Lessons - Don't stop yet]]
-- [[119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Own communication blunders]]
+- [[119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Admit communication blunders]]
 - [[119.014 Conflict - Memorialize your agreements]]
 
 # Learn the lesson, forget the pain

miki/116 Life Lessons/116.122 Life Lessons - 100pct is easier than 99pct.md

@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+source: Me
+tags:
+relevant:
+- [[107.025 Philosophy - Render yourself worthy]]
+- [[127.028 Philosophy - The only way is through]]
+- [[109.31 Productivity - Write down your current goals and keep them in front of you]]
+- [[116.004 Life Lessons - I don't become something I'm not already]]
+- [[116.021 Life Lessons - Finish what you start]]
+- [[116.043 Life Lessons - Live as if you were already living for the second time]]
+- [[116.049 Life Lessons - You get what you give]]
+- [[116.103 Life Lessons - Training endurance requires mental toughness]]
+- [[116.104 Life Lessons - Don't stop yet]]
+- [[116.117 Life Lessons - The price of a mistake goes up tomorrow]]
+- [[119.047 NVC - Keep giving empathy]]
+- [[131.010 Leadership - Do what should be done, not what can be done]]
+- [[131.015 Leadership - Leaders think independently]]
+- [[132.001.04 Steps - 4. Get back up]]
+
+# 100% of the time is easier than 99% of the time
+
+Lou Gherig owned the baseball record for most games played in a row. He played through sickness, injury, and aging. He showed up and performed at a high enough level to keep his professional baseball job for 17 seasons and 2,130 games, until an uncurable disease stopped him. 
+
+He was human like us all, but he would not accept less than the best of himself, he would not compromise for any reason. Self-compromise is a slippery slope, and once you start accepting compromise, it's easier to do it again next time, and then you can't stop...
+
+Once you introduce even the possibility that you can get away with something, do it with half effort, not do it at all... then you will! You introduce the ability to be tired, to change your mind, and forget.
+
+So, if it is important, if you truly have conviction about something, if you commit, then follow through on your commitments 100% of the time.

miki/116 Life Lessons/116.123 Life Lessons - Workout more days per week than you rest.md

@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+116.123 Life Lessons - Workout more days per week than you rest
+
+A workout is a payment for a good life, with interest that compounds. Seneca says “the body should be treated rigorously, that it may not be disobiedient to the mind.”
+
+Working out keeps me feeling good, thinking sharp, and happy. 
+
+Working out trains my brain and willpower to push a little further, to hear but ignore subconscious weakness, that I can do more than I think.
+
+Working out more days per week than I rest is the cadence which works best for me and ensures that I dont get lazy with the routine. 

miki/116 Life Lessons/116.124 Life Lessons - Temperance.md

@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+source: Me
+tags:
+relevant:
+- [[116.122 Life Lessons - 100pct is easier than 99pct]]
+- [[107.013.03 3 stoic emotions - 3. Joy vs Pleasure]]
+- [[116.124 Life Lessons - Temperance]]
+- [[107.015 Philosophy - Stoicism - Rich or happy]]
+- [[109.37 Productivity - Monique is a beautiful and worthwhile use of of time]]
+- [[113.023 Statistics - Variance, Standard Deviation]]
+- [[113.024 Statistics - Judging outliers in a dataset]]
+- [[116.033 Life Lessons - What I do every day matters more than what I do every once in a while]]
+
+# Temperance
+
+One completely unintuitive key to a good life is temperance.
+
+If you indulge too much in anything you will regret it. That's how people get fat and alcoholic and divorced. Funny how getting too much of something makes you sad! Also, important to note that humans always return to a base level of expectation, so overindulgence becomes normal, which requires _even more_ indulgence to seem happy. That's a hedonic treadmill which can't be escaped from.
+
+If you're ascetic and avoid the good things of life, that seems a shame. In the end, what else is life for other than enjoyment with, or helping out, other people!
+
+So temperance is the key, the middle path that allows happy enjoyment but not regretful hedonism.

miki/119 Communication/119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict.md

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ tags:
 relevant:
 - [[119 Communication]]
 - [[119.001 Conflict - Six steps to constructive conflict]]
-- [[119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Own communication blunders]]
+- [[119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Admit communication blunders]]
 
 # The 4 sins of conflict
 

miki/119 Communication/119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Own communication blunders.md → miki/119 Communication/119.010.01 Conflict - Sins - Admit communication blunders.md

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ tags:
 relevant:
 - [[119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict]]
 
-# Own communication blunders
+# Admit communication blunders
 
 It is important to be able to identify these troublesome areas and stop them, right away. 
 

miki/119 Communication/119.071 Communication - It takes two to argue.md

@@ -0,0 +1,43 @@
+source: Me
+tags:
+relevant:
+- [[107.023 Philosophy - Napoleon was calm under pressure]]
+- [[127.029 Philosophy - Malice toward none, charity for all]]
+- [[116.041 Life Lessons - When it counts is BEFORE all hell breaks loose]]
+- [[116.045 Life Lessons - If you ever have the urge to reply in a mean way]]
+- [[116.047 Life Lessons - He who best defines the problem usually wins]]
+- [[119.030 NVC - The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence]]
+- [[116.096 Life Lessons - When emotions override my higher consciousness]]
+- [[116.098 Life Lessons - Distinguish between what I feel and what I think others feel]]
+- [[116.117 Life Lessons - The price of a mistake goes up tomorrow]]
+- [[119.003 Conflict - Are you there for me]]
+- [[119.010 Conflict - The 4 sins of conflict]]
+- [[119.017 NVC - How to get what I want even when being screamed at]]
+- [[119.019 NVC - The steps of outbound NVC]]
+- [[119.020 NVC - The steps of inbound NVC]]
+- [[119.024 NVC - Don't take it personally]]
+- [[119.025 NVC - Nobody else is responsible for my feelings]]
+- [[119.029 NVC - Avoid criticizing by separating observation and evaluation]]
+- [[119.041 NVC - Most other people are not good communicators]]
+- [[119.055 NVC - I give up control and agency when I blame others]]
+- [[119.057 NVC - Am I angry - Wake up, your emotions are hijacking your brain]]
+- [[119.058 NVC - Punishing somebody is a terrible way to get what I want]]
+- [[119.068 Communication - Lincoln didn't argue directly, he just delayed]]
+- [[126.009.04 First Principles Thinking - It's not an attack]]
+
+# It takes two to argue
+
+No matter how blunt, stupid, annoying, or provoking a person seems, an argument can only happen if two people are involved. 
+
+It is a choice to argue, and I can choose to communicate with empathy instead.
+
+It's _hard_ to not engage when my brain's alarm is going off. But if I'm ever to be the thoughtful human that I want to be, in control of my own kingdom, that is exactly the time for me to express my anger productively with NVC:
+
+1. STOP and breath
+2. IDENTIFY my judgmental thoughts
+3. CONNECT with my needs
+4. EXPRESS my feelings/needs/requests
+
+Most of the time, I will also need to offer empathy to the other person in-between steps 3 & 4 so that they have the capacity to hear me.
+
+